Jiffy Feet

O.K., so lets first off give johnny five props for getting a picture of this one, cause we all know hard hard it is to get an alien spacecraft on film. But I was always convinced Fords where crap but who knew they would run on it in the future? But where to start with this one...because there is so much ridiculousness on this machine. Well move front to back, so we have non matching spinner rim hubcaps, two tone paint meaning some gloss, some matte. Some crazy ass home made wing system that is either mimicking a Pokemon character or something from Fast and the Furious ( Building materials and stabilizer unknow). Custom "Powered by Cow Stinky" vinyl decal, somehow this is almost more random than the wings. Homade Chevie Chase / Chevrolet crooked sticker, and non-functional gigantic exhaust pipes. And last but not least, the For Sale sign. So now that we know this car is from 2025 in the future, we can prepare ourselves for the extreme rise in lawn mover prices and New Business merger between the Ford motor company and craft supplies and random vinyl decals. So like I've said before "We Just can't make this shit up"! So study this specimen and learn what you can, because apparently the future isn't going to be so bright (No shades needed Timbuk 3)

View More From The Automobile Files

So 1 year after I got my first truck (87 S-10) My AC went out, so I rode around with a cigarette plugin fan and two windows down at 45mph for my ventilation and my buddies have made fun of me since. Well, today they shall laugh no longer because I have just been surpassed by Joe Daddy Cool in a Honda Civic hatchback with three plugin fans strategically positioned for maximum cooling! This guy has it figured out. He has positioned one hanging on the "O Crap" handle, one hanging from the passenger headrest, and one off the dash for maximum air intake from the passenger window! I never would have thought of that. It's a good thing he doesn't plan on having a passenger anytime soon. Oh and I forgot to mention the air feshner plugin to keep the air from outside smelling great!!! Very Nice Sir...You are now the record holder indeed.

View More From The Automobile Files

I'm sure when Dodge chose their logo for their cars that this is exactly what they had in mind for it! This one puts new meaning to "If you can't dodge it, Ram it!" This image makes me so glad I drive a Chevy! The Funny thing is, I would expect to see this sticker on a huge 4x4 truck and not the cheapest piece of crap dodge makes, The Neon! I guees its kinda like a Chi-wawa wearing a spike collar that says killer. if I've learned one thing in life, The Guys that talk the most about sex never get it!

View More From The Automobile Files

Mirror, Miror...On the car, Who's the best Jiffy fixer of them all? You Are!!! Props to Bruce Bruce for capturing this quality moment in time. How the hell this thing is staying straped on there with just one bungy cord, Ill never know. I guess they would rather have "Objects In Mirror Are Prettier than They Appear!" Than the old closer than slogan. Because really, who needs to see who's coming up in the left lane anyway when you cruisin out in the "Destin for a crash" Dodge Minivan? I also love how they left the handle on there like they might actually take it off one day. I once heard a saying "Nothings more permenant than a temporary solution!" The seafoam green is awesome asa well, It just screams, Im not supposed to be here.

View More From The Automobile Files

View all 38 pics of the Never Ending Story "Kidnapper" Van

Ok, So im driving down 95 on th way to Palatka a couple of weeks ago, and what do I pull up along side of, but a a conversion van with "The Never Ending Story 1 & 2" Airbrushed all over it! Even as I drove beside this marvelous specimen, I could not believe what I was seeing. Days went pass where I went on to question myself as to whether I had actually seen this van or if it was a figment of my fantasia? So days later while Im talking with a buddy about fact that a Neverending Story 3 movie exists and Jack Black plays the leader of the Nasties, I stumbled upon a website of the van, which was so relieving to me because I then knew that i wasn't hallucinating about NES! What grown man puts this much time into anything based on an 80's movie? I bet he pulls up next to Elementary Schools right before a storm comes  and tells little kids to  jump into the Fantasia express and you will be safe from THE NOTHING and Gmork! everything from the Black and blue polka dotted crush velvet interior, to the chain steering wheel, to the Rockfor stereo system makes this van truly one of a kind!!! Thank you so much Mr Internet for allowing me to show the world  this crazy spectacle that I missed with my camera!



And Im now going to ruin your childhood by showing you that It's not a woman who sings the theme song, but a gnarly 80's rocker man mullet!!! Open your eyes Buddy!!! Falcore sings at the end to by the way!

Click here to watch the video!!!

View More From the Automobile  Files