Jiffy Feet

Well, I know were late. Way late in fact. But there were so many good photos from Bike Week this year that I couldn’t cut out as many as I usually do. So even though this took a long long time to post, the wait will totally be worth it. We only went one day this year, and it was the last day, and we got more pics than ever before. So this should tell you how good next year will be. So sit back and Enjoy 85 of the craziest pics you ever seen from the birthplace of “Jiffy Feet”. We risked life and limb to bring you these, so remember…We Couldn’t make this stuff up!

View all 85 Photos From The 2007 Daytona Bike Week!

Well Folks...Just when you thought you've seen it all. Big Massive Props to Eskee for bringing home this Jiffy Feet Top 5 of all time. And just in case you're wondering how to get in the top 5? Just send in a pic of ZZ TOP wearing a sequin tu-tu and a MAN CAMEL!!! I knew when I was watching the 500 this weekend that my boy Rock was gonna get something special. I mean, what the hell does this crazy ass outfit have to do with nascar? All I can think about is that line from Chappelles Show where Tyrone Biggums says "I don't know if you know this bout me Joe Rogan, but I smoke Rocks"! Ok, so lets break down this pic so we can completely understand the madness!!!!



Box A: HOLY MAN-CAMEL!!!  It actually is so big it looks like butt cheeks. The only thing worse than a man-camel is a man-camel in pink, black and gray vertical stripped spandex under a pink tu-tu. Double Woof...WTF.

Box B: The Deadliest Combo Ever. Orange spray painted beard, two-tone neon terminator glasses, Tribal Face Paint, Straw hat with American Flag / checkered Flag flare! Jerry Garcia Lives!!!

Box C: Those Clown Gowns ain't coverin up those Velcro "Velkies" shoes buddy! We see them shits. Nice Beetle Juice socks too!.

Box D: UTAH...Gimme Two, says Willow!!! Is he about to try to gouge someones eyes out with those stubbs? Peace be with you hobits!

Box E: Two Tone Sequin vest with one button holding it all together amongst a bed of Mardi-Gras flare and a passport to the place where magical outfits like this happen.

Box F: Hand held disposable camera? What could this guy possibly see a the Talladega Speedway that could possibly be more crazy than he is? Well I guess if he does, it would be awesome to have a pic of that guy!!!!

O.K., so lets first off give johnny five props for getting a picture of this one, cause we all know hard hard it is to get an alien spacecraft on film. But I was always convinced Fords where crap but who knew they would run on it in the future? But where to start with this one...because there is so much ridiculousness on this machine. Well move front to back, so we have non matching spinner rim hubcaps, two tone paint meaning some gloss, some matte. Some crazy ass home made wing system that is either mimicking a Pokemon character or something from Fast and the Furious ( Building materials and stabilizer unknow). Custom "Powered by Cow Stinky" vinyl decal, somehow this is almost more random than the wings. Homade Chevie Chase / Chevrolet crooked sticker, and non-functional gigantic exhaust pipes. And last but not least, the For Sale sign. So now that we know this car is from 2025 in the future, we can prepare ourselves for the extreme rise in lawn mover prices and New Business merger between the Ford motor company and craft supplies and random vinyl decals. So like I've said before "We Just can't make this shit up"! So study this specimen and learn what you can, because apparently the future isn't going to be so bright (No shades needed Timbuk 3)

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So 1 year after I got my first truck (87 S-10) My AC went out, so I rode around with a cigarette plugin fan and two windows down at 45mph for my ventilation and my buddies have made fun of me since. Well, today they shall laugh no longer because I have just been surpassed by Joe Daddy Cool in a Honda Civic hatchback with three plugin fans strategically positioned for maximum cooling! This guy has it figured out. He has positioned one hanging on the "O Crap" handle, one hanging from the passenger headrest, and one off the dash for maximum air intake from the passenger window! I never would have thought of that. It's a good thing he doesn't plan on having a passenger anytime soon. Oh and I forgot to mention the air feshner plugin to keep the air from outside smelling great!!! Very Nice Sir...You are now the record holder indeed.

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I'm sure when Dodge chose their logo for their cars that this is exactly what they had in mind for it! This one puts new meaning to "If you can't dodge it, Ram it!" This image makes me so glad I drive a Chevy! The Funny thing is, I would expect to see this sticker on a huge 4x4 truck and not the cheapest piece of crap dodge makes, The Neon! I guees its kinda like a Chi-wawa wearing a spike collar that says killer. if I've learned one thing in life, The Guys that talk the most about sex never get it!

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Mirror, Miror...On the car, Who's the best Jiffy fixer of them all? You Are!!! Props to Bruce Bruce for capturing this quality moment in time. How the hell this thing is staying straped on there with just one bungy cord, Ill never know. I guess they would rather have "Objects In Mirror Are Prettier than They Appear!" Than the old closer than slogan. Because really, who needs to see who's coming up in the left lane anyway when you cruisin out in the "Destin for a crash" Dodge Minivan? I also love how they left the handle on there like they might actually take it off one day. I once heard a saying "Nothings more permenant than a temporary solution!" The seafoam green is awesome asa well, It just screams, Im not supposed to be here.

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View all 38 pics of the Never Ending Story "Kidnapper" Van

Ok, So im driving down 95 on th way to Palatka a couple of weeks ago, and what do I pull up along side of, but a a conversion van with "The Never Ending Story 1 & 2" Airbrushed all over it! Even as I drove beside this marvelous specimen, I could not believe what I was seeing. Days went pass where I went on to question myself as to whether I had actually seen this van or if it was a figment of my fantasia? So days later while Im talking with a buddy about fact that a Neverending Story 3 movie exists and Jack Black plays the leader of the Nasties, I stumbled upon a website of the van, which was so relieving to me because I then knew that i wasn't hallucinating about NES! What grown man puts this much time into anything based on an 80's movie? I bet he pulls up next to Elementary Schools right before a storm comes  and tells little kids to  jump into the Fantasia express and you will be safe from THE NOTHING and Gmork! everything from the Black and blue polka dotted crush velvet interior, to the chain steering wheel, to the Rockfor stereo system makes this van truly one of a kind!!! Thank you so much Mr Internet for allowing me to show the world  this crazy spectacle that I missed with my camera!



And Im now going to ruin your childhood by showing you that It's not a woman who sings the theme song, but a gnarly 80's rocker man mullet!!! Open your eyes Buddy!!! Falcore sings at the end to by the way!

Click here to watch the video!!!

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Click here to listen to the Outrageous Commentary!!!

If that one lady had to fake being kidnapped to avoid her marriage, whats this girl gonna have to do to gt out of this??? Option 1: Move to Germany. Option 2: Kill Herself. Thats about it. because if this guy is willing to go to this length, theres no telling where he will follow her. But let me re-iterate, that its not the act that we are making fun of here, but the quality of the photo mixed with the plane jane statement. You would think that if you have been seeing someone long enough to ask them to marry you, you could ad least find a picture where you had combed your hair, or didnt look like a serial killer/child molester! Check out the commentary below for a full force slaying by the fabulous 3 and one random ass mike kelly!

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